REJECTION CORRECTION: How to turn the tables on Rejection in 4 easy steps
HOW DO YOU “DO” REJECTION?
In other words, What is the internal process you go through that creates the experience of feeling rejected?
We’ve all experienced it…that horrible sinking feeling of not being wanted…. The childhood song “nobody loves me, everybody hates me I’m gonna eat some worms…” pops into my mind.
In my experience there are two main groups of people who suffer the most from fear of rejection: Singles on the dating scene and sales people.
Since the purpose of The Reluctant Sales Person is to help professionals who struggle with the “sales” process, that’s what I’ll focus on here. Just remember it works for dating as well!
Fear of rejection keeps so many sales people (as well as professionals who don’t consider themselves to be in “sales”) underachieving, miserable, broke and worse.
What is your fear of rejection costing you? Do the math.
What’s a single client worth to you over the course of a year? Two years? Five years? A decade? A lifetime?
Wouldn’t it be worth a bit of time and energy on your part to reduce and eliminate fear of rejection? What would it
be like to totally eradicate the very word “rejection” from your vocabulary?
Speaking of vocabulary, what does the word “rejection” mean anyway?
According to the dictionary: the word rejection stems from the Latin root meaning – “a throwing back…” It’s synonyms
are ” refusal, spurning, dismissal, elimination.” In a medical context, rejection is all about organs not being accepted by the body.
In our social and business contexts rejection is all in our minds. Just because someone does not choose our services or our product, or us, it doesn’t mean we’ve been rejected. It’s not about us unless we make it so. It’s up to us to decide what it means and what we’ve habitually decided is a pattern.
Think of what you could accomplish if you weren’t hobbled by that old pattern or habit.
So what specifically is your pattern?
In NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) we work a lot with something called a “strategy.” We all have unconscious strategies for doing everything, from brushing our teeth to falling in love to buying a car (or new socks).
Those of us who suffer from “rejection” also have a strategy for “doing” rejection. Those folks who never or rarely experience rejection have a different “strategy,” a different process that they go through or don’t go through. Given the same situation, they experience something different than you do.
The good news is that we can change our strategies. But, in order for us to change them we have to know what they are.
So Let’s talk first about how you “do” rejection:
1. Let me guess. You think about calling a prospect or a new client, or your boss or that person you are attracted to and you imagine them saying “no.” Maybe you imagine them being nasty or saying “no” in front of other people, embarrassing and humiliating you in the process. Or maybe you imagine them just hanging up on you. Maybe you have a picture of annoying them in some way (whether they express that to you or not). Maybe you run a movie
in your mind of all the bad things that will happen to you after they say “no.”
When you think of this picture or movie it is more than likely big and bright and close. A lot of people “blow things
out of proportion” and “shove their nose in it.” It’s not pretty! Literally that’s what’s going on in their internal representation of a rejection event.
The details of this internal representation are probably different for everybody. You may imagine all your friends
avoiding you because they don’t want to listen to your MLM marketing plan…
You may feel small and weak while your prospect looms large and powerful. You may be listening to a bunch of negative self talk like “they probably won’t be able to afford this…” or “Why would they want to buy from me when there are a million other financial planners out there?”
2. You may also make this sales call or this prospective client into your one and only hope. If they say no or choose
some other provider, you are crushed because there is no one else to take their place. (That’s why you need to have several if not several dozen prospecting processes or systems in place, all leading new clients to your door as well as nurturing previous ones to do repeat business with you. But that’s a subject for a different day.)
3. You make the “no” about you, not about your product or service. But here’s the truth: It’s always about them. They
didn’t buy for whatever reason. It’s not an evaluation of you. Their decision has nothing to do with whether you are a good person or not. It doesn’t mean you are a failure or a loser or any of the other negative things you make it mean.
Ready to do something different? In the next post, we’ll cover the 4 steps vital to REJECTION CORRECTION.
So until then,
Peace, courage and confidence,
p.s. Let me know your thoughts in the comments section below or drop in a question for me to answer in a future post.
If you haven’t gotten your free access to the Special Report with 3 immediately useable NLP success tools to increase your ease and comfort in “sales siituations” just click the link below: